Ribonibiskivizatanoso?
by fairyofwallpaper
Summary: James wants to change his last name. ...To Ribonibiskivizatanoso. Sirius tries to talk him out of it. Just read it! :)


Sirius arched an eyebrow, looking drop dead gorgeous and very much as though he knew it. "You're changing your name."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Your last name, right?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
There was a pause, and then Sirius asked, "_Why_?"  
  
James shrugged. "Dunno. Just feel like it, I guess." He smiled nonchalantly, seemingly oblivious of Sirius' disbelieving stare.  
  
"Well, what are you changing it to, then?" Sirius demanded, after a small pause had passed.  
  
"Ribonibiskivizatanoso," James said casually.  
  
"WHAT?!?"  
  
"Ribonibiskivizatanoso."  
  
"What kinda cheap crack are you _on_?"  
  
James sighed patiently. "I'm not on crack."  
  
Sirius sat back and crossed his arms grumpily. "Damn. I wanted some!"  
  
James laughed. Then Sirius asked, "What's the name again?"  
  
"Ribonibiskivizatanoso."  
  
Sirius slowly let out a long whistle. "Your kid's gonna have one helluva time spellin' _that_ in Kindergarten." He shook his head sagely, making a mental note to jot down that pearl of wisdom for the benefit of future generations.  
  
James chuckled. "Well, maybe I'll change my name back to Potter when I get married, otherwise poor Harry will have to be Harry Ribonibiskivizatanoso."  
  
Sirius frowned, staring off into space. "I still think that that is the weirdest name I have EVER heard."  
  
James shrugged again. "I don't. It's actually quite easy, once you get used to it."  
  
"Oh yeah? Spell it."  
  
"..."  
  
"That's what I thought." Sirius smirked. "Oh, and you're gonna name your kid _Harry_?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"What kinda stupid name's that?"  
  
"Well, I'm James Harry Potter, and he'll be Harry James Potter," James explained, as though this was obvious.  
  
"You're so _creative,_" Sirius snapped. "That's what I like about you, ya know."  
  
James smirked. "Oh, I know, SIRIUS ORION BLACK."  
  
"Well, what's wrong with Orion?" Sirius asked defensively.  
  
"Oh, the middle name's fine," he replied, snickering. "It's just the initials..."  
  
"Shut up," Sirius retorted.  
  
"All right, S.O.B." James said brightly.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Stand still so I can hit you."  
  
James paused in confusion to figure out his directions, and, thus, Sirius promptly hit him. "Ha! It worked!" Sirius exclaimed gleefully.  
  
James stuck his tongue out.  
  
There was another pause, and then Sirius remembered something.  
  
"Oh yeah, you're getting _married_?"  
  
"Er..." James said awkwardly. He suddenly looked rather uncomfortable. "Well, no, not yet..."  
  
"James."  
  
"What?"  
  
"James."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"You're _fifteen_," Sirius said, speaking slowly and clearly. "You're probably not going to be married for a while...but, hey, you could have a kid named Harry _without_ getting married---OW!"  
  
James punched him again. "And that's for making fun of my last name."  
  
"Oh, sorry, snotty grotty haughty potty Potter."  
  
A brief pause.  
  
"No, other one."  
  
"Oh!" Sirius said, remembering. "Oh, sorry, R...Rib...Ri...R..."  
  
"Ribonibkisivkizatanoso?" he offered.  
  
"Yeah, that."  
  
Just then, a girl with long, soft, red hair and big, bright, green eyes entered the room, hurried across, and left.  
  
James stared after her with an odd, dreamy expression on his face. Then he turned to Sirius with an odd, dreamy expression and a stupid grin.  
  
"Hey," James said thoughtfully. "How do you think the name 'Lily Ribonibiskivizatanoso' sounds?"  
  
Sirius gave him his infamous Look of Utter Disbelief. James blushed and looked at his feet.  
  
"James." Sirius said disbelievingly. "She's never even given you the _time of day_, and you want to **marry** her?"  
  
He blushed more.  
  
"You _are_ a hopeless romantic, aren't'cha?"  
  
James stuck his tongue out.  
  
Sirius grinned mischievously. "And something is telling me, based upon all your previous girlfriends, that you might have a little something for redheads..." He ducked as James took a swipe at him, and then lowered his head to hide his smile as James' glasses slid down his nose.  
  
There was yet another pause, then Sirius continued, with his usual need to pick up conversations whenever there was even the slightest lull, "Besides, what's the chance of you spelling your name the right way every time you need to sign something?"  
  
James didn't say anything.  
  
"That is, if you can spell it at all," Sirius muttered under his breath.  
  
"I can too spell it," James said stubbornly.  
  
Sirius quirked an eyebrow.  
  
"...Kind of..." he admitted.  
  
Sirius laughed.  
  
Then they were both silent. James stared out of the window into the setting sun. Finally, he sighed heavily.  
  
"You know," he began slowly and thoughtfully. "I kind of like the sound of 'James Potter'. I think I'll keep it."  
  
Sirius' mouth dropped open. "After all of the time you spent defending it against me? After all you did to protect it?"  
  
"Well," James stated matter-of-factly. "It's a lot easier to pronounce."  
  
"Plus," Sirius said optimistically. "You won't have to spend so much time filling in those little bubbles for your name on those national tests."  
  
James rolled his eyes good-naturedly, but chuckled nonetheless.  
  
Sirius grinned back, but secretly, in his innermost thoughts, he was seriously considering changing his name to 'Sirius Vladazatachowsinogulasa'... 


End file.
